This I Believe

I believe in every insignificant moment having the capability to change the course of our lives. The small things matter, and through life this has become more and more evident to me. I have seldom stopped to wonder about what the small things have done to affect my life, but when I sit and think about it, the small things add up to a sum much greater than the seemingly more important moments.
My grandfather had Alzheimer’s. A disease that is tragic to have, but even more heartbreaking to sit by and witness. It took his memory away from him, and in 2008 it took him away from my family. I don’t remember ever hearing the sound of my own name fall from his lips. I don’t remember ever seeing him laugh, and I don’t remember ever seeing him recognize the faces of his own immediate family. I don’t remember much about my grandfather; but to this day I have one memory in my head that remains clearer than all the rest.
I remember sitting in the den of my grandparent’s house on the couch across from my grandfather. I remember looking at him, he had been fast asleep for hours, and still not a single noise had come out of him. There was a tin container on the floor with a bunch of small plastic animals and insects inside of it. I remember walking over to the tin and opening it, taking each item out, and putting them on my grandfather. Now I know that in some way I was trying to engage him, but at the time I just wanted someone to play with. I remember my grandmother walking into the room, laughing hysterically, and taking pictures of me and my insect-covered grandfather, of whom was still deep in slumber. I was still sitting in the den silently when he woke up later that night. I remember him slowly turning his head to look at his shoulder, gradually reaching his brittle hand up to take off a bug and look at it. He inspected it for several moments, turned to me, smiled, and fell back asleep.
By choice, that memory will forever be the last memory I have of my grandfather. I don’t want to remember visiting him in the hospitals, seeing him stare at the same painting for hours on end without blinking. I don’t want to remember seeing him gaze emptily into my father’s eyes, reaching up to touch his cheek as if his own son had become a stranger. At that point in my life it was a small, unimportant, moment, one of which I never knew would be the moment which reflects the light I choose to remember my grandfather in. Looking back on it, that one moment has truly changed the course of my life. I will never again take for granted the time I have gotten and will get to spend with the ones I love, because I know that if I close my eyes, even if it’s only for a moment, everything could change, and everything could be gone.
I believe in every insignificant moment having the capability to change the course of our lives. The small things matter.