RY.

Myriah: [muh-rye-ah]
You have such grace, complicated elegance. I envy the strength you have, the strength that I have looked for within myself so many times before. I turn to you, have you noticed? You are my help.. and although maybe you may feel broken at times, you fix me. You are the strength that I can not dig up. Forever, I know, our friendship, our sisterhood, will always be the best I've made, the most reliable. I can't exactly describe to you, or put in words for you the importance of the bond I hold with you. I can't describe how your presence makes me feel lighter, how your bluntness makes everything feel tangible. If that makes sense.. You bring me back to earth when I need to be grounded. You were there the night I called you to cry, just to cry, you listened as I wept about the lifted weight on my shoulders and you allowed me to break. But you... you put me back together. My glue. I love you for your steady bravery, and constant friendship. A shoulder, an ear, a kind smile.
Always there
Always

This I Believe

I believe in every insignificant moment having the capability to change the course of our lives. The small things matter, and through life this has become more and more evident to me. I have seldom stopped to wonder about what the small things have done to affect my life, but when I sit and think about it, the small things add up to a sum much greater than the seemingly more important moments.
My grandfather had Alzheimer’s. A disease that is tragic to have, but even more heartbreaking to sit by and witness. It took his memory away from him, and in 2008 it took him away from my family. I don’t remember ever hearing the sound of my own name fall from his lips. I don’t remember ever seeing him laugh, and I don’t remember ever seeing him recognize the faces of his own immediate family. I don’t remember much about my grandfather; but to this day I have one memory in my head that remains clearer than all the rest.
I remember sitting in the den of my grandparent’s house on the couch across from my grandfather. I remember looking at him, he had been fast asleep for hours, and still not a single noise had come out of him. There was a tin container on the floor with a bunch of small plastic animals and insects inside of it. I remember walking over to the tin and opening it, taking each item out, and putting them on my grandfather. Now I know that in some way I was trying to engage him, but at the time I just wanted someone to play with. I remember my grandmother walking into the room, laughing hysterically, and taking pictures of me and my insect-covered grandfather, of whom was still deep in slumber. I was still sitting in the den silently when he woke up later that night. I remember him slowly turning his head to look at his shoulder, gradually reaching his brittle hand up to take off a bug and look at it. He inspected it for several moments, turned to me, smiled, and fell back asleep.
By choice, that memory will forever be the last memory I have of my grandfather. I don’t want to remember visiting him in the hospitals, seeing him stare at the same painting for hours on end without blinking. I don’t want to remember seeing him gaze emptily into my father’s eyes, reaching up to touch his cheek as if his own son had become a stranger. At that point in my life it was a small, unimportant, moment, one of which I never knew would be the moment which reflects the light I choose to remember my grandfather in. Looking back on it, that one moment has truly changed the course of my life. I will never again take for granted the time I have gotten and will get to spend with the ones I love, because I know that if I close my eyes, even if it’s only for a moment, everything could change, and everything could be gone.
I believe in every insignificant moment having the capability to change the course of our lives. The small things matter.

In Between

In between birth and death there will be:
(in no particular order)
...
1. success
2. failure
3. pain
4. struggle
5. desire
6. need
7. inspiration
8. hard work
9. encouragement
10. love..
11. more failure
12. a broken heart or.... four
13. loneliness
14. discouragement
15. devastation
16. growth
17. a lull
18. a journey
19. a lifelong friend
.... and finally
20. happiness

I don't know what is ahead of me, but I know the imprints of my feet
have left behind me a trail filled with every aspect of life.
I know I am young, and the world has so much left to offer.

I aspire to find success, and I know that in order for me to find it,
I need to be able to grasp failure by the neck and refuse it a place in my life.
I want to feel pain, so I know that the life I struggle to lead is a reality.
I wish for my heart to fulfill it's deepest desires whole-heartedly and mindfully
I need to find inspiration to float on into the days which lay before me
I hope to use hard work and encouragement to achieve the love which I so desperately long for, instead of the broken hearts left in my wake... (and in his)
which have only been mended by the hands of my lifelong friends..
I feel as though loneliness, devastation and discouragement will only fade
away with the growth allowed by time's gentile touch.
I hope there will never be a lull in my life as I sail day-by-day through this journey to ultimately obtain the one thing everyone is always searching for:
happiness.

I Am

I am a daughter
My mother, my best friend, my muse. All those long car rides, all those nights
you came to sit with me and talk, all those little moments....

I am thankful
My father, my clown, my hero. All those sporting events, "take it to the hole"
I try hard, for you.

I am selfish
My needs, my wants, my "this times". All those "right now"-s and
"no, this way"-s... sometimes it needs to be okay.

I am a student
Spain, a future, a choice, a "no". Zaragoza, SYA, not this time, selfless?

I am a traveler
Greece, Italy, NZ, AUS, Europe. My life, my memories, where I found my two
best friends, my inspiration(s)

I am me
Unknown, confused, young, old soul. No regrets, not this time, not ever, none.